About the Book

“The problem was… the things I stored down deep started to fester and multiply. They rose up; I pushed them down. They were too deadly to expose, too dirty to air out. If I let even one escape into the light of day, they would all come tumbling out of their carefully sealed envelope and make a mess of this life, no - call it existence, I was trying to hold together. True life belonged to those who didn’t hold envelopes stuffed with the terror and horror of a scared sixteen-year-old, turned angry twenty-two-year-old, turned bitter twenty-five-year-old.

The thing is, I want to live.“

- J.J. Hansen

As a teenager, author J.J. Hansen steeled her insides every time she walked into her mother’s hospital wing. Years later, her poise under pressure earned accolades as she planned her father’s funeral. The Lavender Envelope is the story of what happened when she decided to quit being strong and move forward by going through the past instead of walking away from it. In essays woven with memory and metaphor she depicts the healing process that began when she tore open her envelope and determined to live.

What Readers Are Saying

"It is hard to write a review that gives justice to what seems to be a copy of someone's diary--no, truth be told, someone's entire soul. How can you encompass, in mere words, the appreciation for the author's sharing of her entire self? Especially, as Ms. Hansen describes, she hid that self from herself for so long?

This amazing work is a collection of word pictures that aims to grasp the entirety of grief and all its sub-feelings. It exposes that which had been hidden so carefully. It inspired me to look hard at all I have been protecting, and to examine areas in my own life that may need to be exposed.

A must-read for anyone who has lost, is losing, or will lose someone they love."

~ Rebecca on September 2, 2017

"This book is a beautiful masterpiece. It is a literary work that shares the depths of a soul who has experienced deep, deep pain. The way it is written really helps one understand more the realities of sorrow and loss and some of the journey through the valley of the shadow."

~ Kayla on August 18,2017

"J.J.'s writing is evocative and warm, like a good friend telling you a story. Before you know it, J.J. is letting you into the deepest recesses of her heart. This isn't a story with a happy ending - it's a story about life. It's a heart-wrenching, passionate story that will bring you to tears. It is a story that is true. It is a story that will leave you wiser for having experienced it. And it is a story that will give you hope. There are no magical formulae in this book. There is just someone who invites you on her own journey of dealing with loss."

~ Douglas on September 12, 2017

This book so eloquently shares the deep pain of losing parents at a young age. The author transparently shares the journey of her grief. This book helps the reader begin to understand the depth of this pain, and would also be helpful for others who are going through a similar journey. Miss Hansen combines her writing skills with her own story in a way that draws the reader in.

~ Jill on September 18, 2017