Breathe

"Sometimes it's okay if the only thing you did today was breathe."  - Yumi Sakugawa

Lately, amidst the ups and downs of life and the unique stresses of the holiday season thrust upon those of us with gaping holes in our families, I have struggled to breathe. When I stop and think about it, I remember sitting and talking to one of the instructors after my mindfulness based stress reduction class several years ago. I can still hear her saying toward the end of our conversation, "You've hardly breathed the entire time we've been talking." I can feel the way my mind swirled back to my attempts months earlier at hiking in crisp, cool air while my legs burned after half a mile or a mile of an inclined trail, wondering all of a sudden if it wasn't a matter of being out of shape as much as lack of oxygen.

You've hardly breathed.

At times in the last few months, I have ridden waves of excitement from new creative ideas so fast and overwhelming that I forget to pause and breathe. In other moments, anxiety has clawed at my throat and squeezed my lungs so that even when I try to take a deep breath, I can't. In still other moments, grief and loss have shuddered and jerked the breath right out of me. 

You've hardly breathed. 

To breathe deeply I have to be still. Inside stillness is true rest. True rest is the gateway to the soothing path into healing.

You've hardly breathed.

That night, my instructor recommended that I write "Breathe" on notecards and place them all over my house, my car, the places I saw everyday. What a strange thing to need reminders to breathe, right? That's something the body is supposed to do on it's own.

You've hardly breathed.

There is this invitation, in the midst of this season, to let our minds and spirit step into sync with what our bodies have been doing since we were born. Breathe. Instead of running our spirits and minds and bodies in three different directions to accomplish everything on our lists and stay ahead of the game and win at life, we can stop - even if just for a moment - and breathe.

You've hardly breathed.

This invitation isn't just for me; it's for you as well. It's the invitation to dig your toes into the solid earth of this moment no matter what crazy racket is happening around you. It's the invitation to push the "slow mode" button and create the "slow down" moment you've been craving.

You've hardly breathed.

When you push the button and close your eyes, your lungs might get caught halfway through the breath. The iron cage of anxiety and fear might clamp down. It's okay. Breathe anyways. If you start to breathe and then remember five more things that need to get done by the end of the day, breathe anyways.

If you need some help breathing, you might listen to this spontaneous recording. I've been listening to it a lot lately when I can't get to the still place on my own. I hope it ushers you into rest and healing as well.

Breathing with you...

~ J